if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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