There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
