i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
