Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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