put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize