Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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