So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
