As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
