i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
