Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
