I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
