i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
