My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
