Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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