who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
