I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
