So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
