My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
