thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
