let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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