Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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