Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
