What a fucking waste of an outfit
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize