Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
