omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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