I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
