So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
