do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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