accomplished twins. life is a go
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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