I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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