the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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