Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The air was thick with penises
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
