I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
