so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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