I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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