Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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