I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
