Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
