omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
