also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
