I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
