I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
