I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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