And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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