...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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