white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
