2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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