He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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