i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
