Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize