Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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