So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Boobs are out for the taking
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
