I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
