I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
