Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
