she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize