My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
