she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
