I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
