no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
