this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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