Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize