Nicole vs. Life
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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