you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
