Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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