Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i believe in u and ur pee
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
