My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
