An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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