His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My feet surprised me
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