ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
