I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
