I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
