Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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